Having a full-time job, two kids, two businesses, and endless responsibilities are the reasons I became burnt out very quickly. I would pray, I was sleep, I would meditate, I talked to my parents, sister, friends and therapist, but inevitably I was still very much unbalanced. I went through the process of elimination to see what goals I would have to forgo until another time but still I was exhausted. So much so, that once my boys were in bed, I'd sit in my car, look at the moon and the stars and think “where did I go wrong?” Hoping an answer would jump out from the stars and heal adulting woes.
Then one day while in therapy (in my car on my lunch break) my therapist said this to me, “think of your life like a bank. If you are constantly taking energy, effort and time away from your bank and you are never putting anything in, you will eventually be exhausted and depleted.” His next statement shook me to my core, “Jacquetta, you are running on fumes. You need… no you deserve real rest before one is forced upon you.” I took his advice. Last month, I went to a night club and concert and while they were both very fun, they weren't the rest I needed.
I must also note that I’m a member of the greatest sorority in the nation, Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc., and my line sisters and celebrated our 15 year "Deltaversary" by going the Dominican Republic for 4 days and 3 nights. I was stressed out preparing for the trip, worried that I would forget something I needed and suffered an enormous amount of mommy guilt over leaving the boys behind with family and friends, but on about 3 hours of sleep and endless anxiety; I made it.
I promised myself that I wouldn’t work or worry on this vacation and that I wouldn't be on social media too much. As a result of these promises to myself, I watched a movie (in peace) on the plane ride over (A Journal for Jordan), I had drinks waiting on me at the lobby of the resort, I had endless alcoholic beverages (the ones that were for fun not a stress reliever), I walked on the beach and swam the bluest water I had ever seen, then had the best most relaxing massage by the ocean, pool time with the ladies, peaceful breakfast by the ocean (that I didn’t have to cook or clean up behind) and I woke up daily to a view that was literally cinematic.
By day two I felt rejuvenated. I felt creative again, I felt rested. My bank was full.
I felt the need to do this article because I know I’m not the only parent that’s the first to get up and the last to go to bed, that needs to make appointment for the kids and call the pool guy, plant spring flowers and do laundry. This is your sign to invest in a travel agent and take a vacation with friends or your spouse. One without the burden of responsibility. The massage therapist told me after my massage, “every time you go on vacation, get a massage” so do that! I certainly will 😉!
Adulting can be tough but is recovering from a stress induced illness is even worse. Give yourself the opportunity to get refilled on a frequent basis. Trust me it benefits you and everyone around you!
Let's talk! DM me, email me, message me and tell me ways you reset! I'd love to hear them.
Love and hugs,
Jacquetta
